I’m a writer who rants and raves. A lot. I can’t help it, its as natural to me as not being able to walk past a packet of Jammy Dodgers without wolfing six down.

Wolfing, now there’s a word you don’t hear much anymore. And canoodling. That’s another under-utilised beauty that should be gracing the lips of the nation more often.

I digress. Back to the ranting. Ranting and raving are my way of releasing tension. It’s better than subjecting unsuspecting strangers to my wrath, or going to prison.

Yes, I’m judgemental, opinionated, and allergic to sesame seeds, but who isn’t? What I’m not is unkind, racist, or any kind of phobic, so you won’t find any of that kind of stuff here.

What you will find is funny musings, ponderings and opinions about pretty much anything that takes my fancy.

Donald Trump’s hair? That’s fair game. The weirdness of TV programmes aimed at the under 5s? You wouldn’t believe how much material there is right there people. Who the fuck comes up with them?? Manchester United being the best football team in the world? You’ll never see that on a website of mine.

Ideally, I want other ranters to contribute to this site. If there’s something that gets your goat, niggles your nellies or even titillates your tatties, get it out I say. Tell the world how you feel, bottling stuff up is not good. Why do you think there are so many self-help books out there?

All I ask is your rants or raves are amusing, and you use spell check before you submit them. I can do a week’s worth of rants about poor spelling and grammar, so let’s not go there.

I don’t want any serious shit on here either. It’s not that sort of place. If you want to complain that your neighbours keep their bins in the front garden, do it on Facebook. We’re more Peter and Jane than the Daily Fail. Peter and Jane rocks by the way. That is one funny lady.

Can you swear? Yes you can. I’m a sufferer of Antipodean Tourette’s myself so feel free to let a few fucks fly.

Phase 2 of this site will include a rating system, where rants will be rated on how good they are using swearwords. The worse the swearword, the better the rant, that sort of thing.

If you want to contribute, send me an email with your rant or rave, or  fill in the contact form. Ultimately it’s up to me whether or not your rant or rave gets published, I am paying for the hosting of this site after all.

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